vinhomehungyenland37 のバックアップ(No.2)

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Thank The Force for Mike's patience and willingness to slowly and gently allow me to let down my guard and come to trust him. No longer the brittle, defensive, resentful, angry, and hostile feminist, now I am calm and happy; entirely willing to follow Mike' suggestions, directions, corrections, and desires... (I trust him to do the right thing for me -- even when it's not necessarily the thing I want...)

Our relationship guru, Pat Allen, describes a completely satisfactory relationship style she calls "convenient" -- as Mike wrote earlier, where each partner wants to be (and often is) both respected and cherished.

Pat Allen suggests both partners use her complementary communication style to avoid clashes. So; as compared to our covenant relationship, where I may freely and always speak of my feelings but must get his permission to cross the boundary and speak as a Yang partner -- so he is not ambushed by it nor is his competitiveness aroused (and the reverse for him); in a convenient relationship, either partner may speak at any time from either masculine or feminine energy.

However Pat Allen cautions; the roles, the boundaries in communication style, should still be observed. So, either partner may say: "I have a thought / opinion / want / suggestion." ("I want" and "I think" are Yang/masculine-energy words.) But to avoid a competitive reaction, the initiating person then asks "How do you feel about that?" (That is, each partner takes the complementary position in discussions.) If the initiator says: "I want pizza. What do you want?" (want and want; Yang to Yang) the other person might very well say: "Well *I* want Chinese!" and the battle is on.